Jen Plowman knew what she had to do to help herself deal with the grief following the death of her son, Ryan, in November 2022.
She needed to get back to her job as an assistant manager at the Orland Park Bakery, where she could be with coworkers and customers to help her get her mind off of things.
“I came back to work right after,” she said. “I needed to be here, I couldn’t just sit home and cry all day. I still came here and cried, but they knew that, and they were there for me.”
A year and a half later, they are still there for her.
Ryan Plowman died Nov. 5, 2022, at age 17 because his compromised immune system was unable to fight off complications from mononucleosis. He was a popular student at Shepard High School in Palos Hills, an Illinois State Scholar and an All-South Suburban Conference soccer player.
On Tuesday, which would have been Ryan’s 19th birthday, Orland Park Bakery sold donuts to support the Ryan Plowman Scholarship Fund for Shepard’s National Honor Society.
Also on Tuesday, Pizza Pete in Frankfort donated 20% of its proceeds to the scholarship fund while on Wednesday, the Pizza Pete establishment in Orland Park did the same.
Last year, Orland Bakery held a similar sale and it raised $5,000 toward scholarships.
After 15 years of being a stay-at-home mother, Jen decided get back into the working world in 2020 and landed the job at the Orland Bakery.
Little did she know that this would turn out to be more than just a job and she would make friends who would help and support her.
“The bakery is like a family to me,” she said. “I’ve had tremendous support from my coworkers and the owners. It’s been a blessing.”
On Tuesday morning and afternoon, many people dressed in Shepard gear or shirts bearing Ryan’s name came to the bakery and bought all types of sweets, including donuts that were named in Ryan’s honor.
One of Ryan’s best friends, Emmett Kingzette, was on hand carrying a couple of boxes of treats to help the cause and was impressed with the turnout.
“It shows that a bunch of people still care about him,” he said.
Kinzette admits that Ryan might not have been fond of being featured in the event.
“Naah, he would not like the attention,” he said. “He wouldn’t like this at all.”
Kingzette’s mother, Meghan, taught Ryan at Incarnation School in Palos Heights and has fond memories of him.
“I think this is awesome to carry his legacy on,” she said. “Kids are following in his footsteps.”
She remembers Ryan well as a grade-school student.
“He was very smart and very driven,” she said. “He was very polite and always worried about everybody else.
“And he had a great smile.”
Ryan could also take some razzing and heckling.
When Ryan was in seventh grade and Emmett Kingzette was in eighth, Ryan was involved in an intense basketball game and threw up a buzzer-beating shot.
It was an airball.
The eighth graders in the stands chanted “Air ball” after the attempt and Kingzette said Ryan took it in stride.
Family friend Zeno Toscas coached Ryan for six years starting in middle school. Toscas also grew up with Ryan’s mother Jen, but said soccer kept him involved in the family. Toscas retired from coaching after Ryan died and is now a lawyer.
“He was just a fantastic kid all the way around. You know, he was just one of those kids that I loved. I loved coaching somebody that was so coachable. And I’d rather coach the kids that are more coachable than from the super talented ones that just think that they know it all. You know, they may be better soccer players, but I’d rather coach better athletes and Ryan was a great athlete. He had the world ahead of him, you know, that’s why it still doesn’t make any sense on how that’s happened.”
“I was pushing him to go be a doctor, because I knew that there’s no question that he would be able to get through it. But he just, he’s like, No, he’s like, you know, I think being a pharmacist would be best.”
“He was in incredible shape, incredibly healthy, you know, besides this small Crohn’s issue. If you met him, you would never know, because he doesn’t look like a sick kid. He looks like a super athletic, healthy kid.”
“He was just a student of the game, even in the most competitive situations, he was still a great kid.”
Jen and her husband, Dan, have been trying to take things in stride since Ryan’s death.
But it hasn’t been easy.
“It’s definitely been a rollercoaster,” Jen said. “But I have to stay strong for my husband and my son.”
One of the harder things about the scholarship initiative is that the parents read through essays from students and the subject matter is about Ryan’s characteristics and what his goals were.
There are times, Jen and Dan have to put the essays down and regroup.
“It’s emotional – very emotional,” Jen said. “Some of the kids this past year knew our son so it’s just very interesting to see what they have to say and how their life is like compared to my son.”
“It’s always hard to read something like that. It’s very bittersweet.”
In 2021, Ryan developed Crohn’s Disease, but was able to fight it off and was healthy enough to compete on the soccer team in 2022.
Jen said that a group of students were planning raise money for charities combating Crohn’s Disease Saturday by hosting a bean-bag tournament.
It’s not open to the public, but Jen said more than 40 students could be participating.
Jeff Vorva is a freelance reporter for the Daily Southtown.
